The crisis of the third date. Why we fail at relationships?

Why it is so difficult for us to be with someone? Why so often we fail at relationships? The contemporary times are not the times of our grandparents, when all was kept simple.

Men were competing for women and the social roles were clear-cut. Nowadays the relationships can be compared to a visit at a supermarket. You pick & choose what you like. If something breaks, you buy new. We have no time for costly and timely repair, because all we care for is instant gratification.

Do you know the crisis of the third date?

Your eyes meet. Your smiles fly through the space between you. You suddenly make a step towards each other and meet yourselves half way. First date is amazing. Endless talks, physical attraction. So is the second time when you meet. It’s usually on the third date when things start to get edgy. Why?

Imagine a meeting of two beings. One from Orion and the other from the Pleiades. Two different beings coming from literally different worlds, different backgrounds. She doesn’t know if he likes Lindt chocolate with strawberries or the dark 80% cocoa. He does not know what type she is. A hide and seek game. Up to a certain point.

She is a dark chocolate. He doesn’t know about that. What differentiates the dark chocolate type from the strawberry filling is that you can make a delicious mousse au chocolate. But exlusively from the dark chocolate.  It’s, unfortunately, impossible to do it when you have a strawberry one.

You go and buy the strawberry chocolate. You eat it instantly. You know it tastes best when you consume it straight after unwrapping the packaging. It’s the same with men and women. Some are fit for a one night stand whereas the others… Hm.. They tend to include a nice surprise inside. When you go for the dark chocolate, you know that the modern cuisine knows many recipes for delicious desserts that can be made from it. All that you need is some time and effort, before your palate explodes with the unique taste of the mouth-watering mousse…

People have different expectations and different ideas about love and relationships. Sometimes Jack meets Jill and they go in different directions, because they are not compatible with each other. Not a burger and fries case. And sometimes, they are able to leave for Venus, in a get away car. Like a coffee and croissant. Or a platter of meat and cheese. Complementing each other.

Why relationships don’t work?

1. PEOPLE MAKE THE WRONG CHOICES

We know very well what we don’t want, but we are not sure about what we really want… Sounds familiar? The freedom of choice nowadays is so big that you have no idea what you should take. That’s why you cannot take a decision and stay like this for the most precious years of your life. Because you fail to decide if you go for a strawberry filling or a hazelnut one.

2. EXPECTATIONS ARE SOARING LIKE THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING

On Instagram you see dolled-up beauties with D-size breasts and legs like from the catwalk. You see men with 6 packs with no food belly. Then you expect you will see that in the unplugged reality.  Wakie Wakie! The reality is neither a video game nor a porn movie.

3. YING-YANG IMBALANCE

In 2018 men are no longer hunters. At least some of them. My friend has lately attended a date. Sipping her coffee she heard him saying: “I like when women hunt me. It makes me feel good. I feel well taken care of and more attractive“. Hm. She never met him again. The truth is, the women like to be taken. Full stop.

When you are blooming with your femininity and delicacy, men come to you like bees attracted to the nectar of the flower. When you are a masculine woman no man would ever be interested in you, because he would instantly feel that you’re not a flower but more of a bee…

4. ONE MODEL OF RELATIONSHIPS NO LONGER EXISTS

“Why are doing this to me?!” “I don’t love you anymore”. “Get your shit together” – how many times have you been there?

We have as many definitions of what a “good relationship” is, as many people around you. Each one of us has a different view on how a successful relationship should look like. Now, an emerging couple faces the following questions, which in the old times, were considered obvious:

  • do you want to have children?
  • who will take care of home?
  • what country we will live in?
  • etc.

A good relationship is about how you treat the other person. If you don’t know how to show feelings and affection, if you don’t appreciate what you have or you organise your priorites in such a way that your partner is on the 55th position in your schedule then you didn’t get it right.

Cheap thrills or a chocolate mousse?

The choice is yours 😉

With the wishes of finding your dark chocolate,

Plantation of Creativity

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