How to stop criticizing yourself?

We pass by a shop window and criticize our looks. We get up in the morning, look in the mirror and tell ourselves how ugly/fat/swollen we are. How to change that and start your days with positive and loving thoughts about yourself? How to stop criticizing yourself and learn to love yourself instead? I reveal two powerful techniques that can change your life by changing your attitude towards yourself.

In this video we’re gonna talk about a relationship with yourself and how to stop criticizing yourself. Nowadays I see many people who tend to criticize themselves too much. And it is also my case.

Why do you do it? Have you ever asked yourself this question?

I like to observe people. Sometimes I see women who go shopping on a shopping street. And when their passing by a shop window, they take a look at themselves just to see if they look ok.

And we are just doing it every day. But the worst thing is that we always find something that we don’t like.

Like:

Oh my god, my hair is not so good today”,

I look a little bit too fat, I need to go on a diet“,

I could dress a little bit better because this doesn’t suit me“.

And then you go further your way. But what is happening in your brain, is that you tell yourself bad things about yourself, you criticize yourself, you are unable to say: “I look really good! I am a very beautiful woman“.

No, you do quite the opposite.

Instead of appreciating yourself, you look in a shop window or a mirror and criticize yourself for what you think you don’t have (or what you think you have wrong). Like your body weight or your complexion. Maybe your skin is not perfect or your hair is messy – sounds familiar?

  • But is it necessary?
  • Do you need to criticize yourself?
  • Why do you do it?

And the answer is: because you don’t love yourself. And I think that loving yourself is one of the most important things in your life.

Why?

That is a good question. Especially we, women, give our love to the outside world. We tend to love our husbands, partners or children. We inspire others. But then, when it comes to relationships with ourselves – we simply can’t do it. We criticize ourselves. We keep asking those questions:

“Honey, do I look good in this dress? I think that I am too fat, I think, I have put on weight”.

And this is very sad. Also because I know it from my own experience. I’ve also had some issues with the lack of self-acceptance. And it is not a pleasant feeling.

HOW TO STOP CRITICIZING YOURSELF? LEARN MY METHODS

That’s why I want to present you with a tool, with a technique which will help you to stop torturing yourself. It is a small exercise that you can do every day and it doesn’t require extra time or effort.

You can do it at home or each time when you go to work, for shopping or dinner outside. Whenever you pass a mirror or shop window, or in the ladies room at your workplace – take a look into yourself.

Look yourself in the eyes and:

  • Try to tell yourself that you are beautiful.
  • Try to find what are you happy about today with your looks.

Like:

You know, my hair is looking good today“,

Those shadows on my eyes are really beautiful“,

I have a lovely smile, my eyes are sparkling!“.

How to stop criticizing yourself

You will always find something that you like about yourself. So don’t start your day with negative thoughts. Life is all about making choices. And the first choice starts in our thoughts.

If you love yourself, you decrease the number of thoughts that worry you, conclusions that make you harm.

How do you feel when you keep telling yourself: “Oh gosh, I really look fat!“? Does it make you feel good? For sure not.

So stop doing it. Stop criticizing yourself.

The second exercise is for those of you who would like to spend more time cherishing yourself. Every day write down in your notebook what do I like about yourself.

Let’s say:

  • I am intelligent,
  • I am a wise woman,
  • I am very warm,
  • I cook delicious food,
  • I am a beautiful woman.

Try to compile, to pull things you like about yourself. Stick this list to a fridge or a mirror and take a look at it every morning. Instead of looking in the mirror and telling yourself bad things try to read your list, smile to yourself and notice what do you like about yourself at this moment.

Believe me, it is a very powerful exercise. Try it.

And share it with those who need it as well.

Author: Aleksandra Bzdzikot - Certified Family Constellations Therapist, Certified Art Therapist

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