Strong woman looking for love

Are you a strong woman looking for love? You have a good job, a nice apartment, you’re bright and super-intelligent but there’s no man around you? If you answer yes to this question, then this article is for you.

Strong woman. Who is she?

Times have changed. Now women can work, earn the same or even more than men. They became more independent and flexible. Is this wrong? Not at all. A strong woman looking for love is no different. So where is the problem?  

I guess you remember Miranda from “Sex and the city”. A successful lawyer who pursued her career at a big law firm in New York. She thought being intelligent and wise was a key to who she was. She was insisting on doing everything on her own and wouldn’t let any man into her close circle of friends. This was an I-CAN-DO-IT-ALL woman. Now, look at her relationships with men. What kind of men was she attracting? Did she have luck in love? I doubt so. 

There are plenty of Mirandas walking down the street not only in New York but also in Zurich, Berlin, or Warsaw. Successful women with no success with men. Well-dressed, independent, happy with their careers, drinking wine during lonely nights spent at their fancy apartments. All alone. With no men around. 

Why is it more challenging for strong women to look for love?

Strong Woman Plantation of Creativity

There might be a couple of psychological reasons for this. You need to be aware of what men are searching for in a woman. They are not searching for the qualities that they, as men, already have, like courage, physical strength, or being in an action-mode. They want a woman. What are the qualities that women have while men don’t? Warmth, beauty, sweetness, caring, sensuality. Now ask yourself frankly if you bring these qualities to the table. Honestly. 

A strong woman looking for love won’t be successful in finding one if she plays a Miranda. Men won’t come to you if you show them how perfect you are, how more successful you are, or how much more money you make. Or if you boast that you can even change a flat tire in your car. 

Man needs to feel needed. If you can do without him, then no man will approach you. What for?! Being a strong woman is an oxymoron. Strong man – yes, this adjective suits men very well. Men had to fight wars, carry wood, have lots of physical strength to protect their families. 

But a strong woman?! A woman can be delicate, feminine, loving, beautiful, caring, lovely. Somehow “strong” does not sound right here. 

How to find love if you are a strong woman?

In my therapy practice, I often see that the pattern of strong women can be inherited. Maybe your mother was the stronger one in her marriage. Maybe she was leading the relationship and she was in charge of everything, including if telling your father to buy a sedan car instead of a sports one. 

The first thing you can do when you search for love is to stop calling yourself a ‘strong woman’. Just be a woman. Don’t be afraid to show your vulnerability and feminine sides. Life is not all about career, success, and action. Leave it aside in your conversations with men. 

The second thing is honoring men. Don’t criticize them or prove that they are wrong. Don’t behave like a mother and dictate all the terms. Learn to respect men the way they are. Start with respecting your father or male colleagues at work. With time you will see how the world around you changes. When you put your Miranda style aside you will attract a new type of men. 

Listen to my video about how women psychologically castrate men to learn more about the mistakes that women do in relationships.

Why coaching doesn’t always work?

Have you been to a coach and nothing changed after? Discover three reasons why coaching doesn’t work for you.

1. You are not willing to change. 

You hang on to your old beliefs and your comfort zone. Don’t feel like learning something new. Ultimately, your life is not so bad, is it? Maybe it’s now either wonderful, but you’re making it through. You feel you could try to enroll in a coaching program, but then you discover how much work it is and you simply give up. Old habits take the lead. 

Change is always painful. Take working on your diet. You want to lose 7 kg. So you introduce sport, healthy snacks, constant watching over what you eat. Avoiding temptations on your way like your favorite chocolate ice cream. And it’s not easy. It’s tough work. Saying ‘no’ to sweets and couch sitting and ‘Netflixing’. 

When we change we give up one of our life patterns. Part of ourselves that we want to change. You need a strong motivation to do it. 

2. You expect a huge change.

why coaching doesn't always work

You signed up for a famous coach. Hurray! You are excited and you can’t wait to start. You think your life will be divided into BEFORE and AFTER coaching. Full of hopes and expectations you picture your life changed at 180 degrees after coaching.  Like a fairy tale. 

Whoa! Hold your horses. When you hold high expectations from a coach you think someone else will magically solve your problems. But the truth is: you are responsible for your coaching. A coach can just help you, show you your problems and their background but everything else is your responsibility. So if you have a job you hate it is your responsibility to change it. A coach can help you with different methods of working on your issue,  but he will not do it for you. Coaching doesn’t fix it all. Better not to expect too much but to start rolling up your sleeves and doing the work. 

3. “I know it all” attitude. 

So you think that all the coaches speak about the same stuff. How to love yourself, how to find a better job, how to change. You’ve listened to tons of free videos on YouTube and you think you know it all. 

Listening to videos, reading motivational books, and going on retreats won’t work because it’s just a theory. In order to change something in your life, you will need to put it into practice. You will need to commit to making coaching exercises and making time for that. Just the way you commit yourself to go to a gym two times a week. 

Have you ever tried coaching? Did it work for you?  

I married the wrong person. What to do?

People marry for all the possible reasons. But one of the greatest is love. But what if I married the wrong person? 

After a rosy dating period of two years, John married Nicole, to her great happiness. She liked everything about him. They enjoyed great sex together and endless conversations over a cup of morning coffee or a glass of red wine in the evening. Years passed by and John was losing respect in Nicole’s eyes. He stopped being the ‘crazy John’, full of ideas for adventures, and instead, he became a couch potato. He had to commute to a job which he didn’t enjoy and all of this had an effect on his marriage. He grew angry with the whole world, unable to be happy about anything and complaining.

Nicole while loading the dishwasher said to herself: “I married the wrong person. Or did I?”

How to find out if I married the wrong person?

Let go of the one and only Prince Charming

Usually, women dream of a knight on a white horse which is an ideal, that doesn’t exist. The truth is we all marry the wrong person. For some reason, after the rosy period of the first dates, especially when we live together, we see the flaws, the lacks, and the problems of our partner. prince Charming for some can also be a bad boy, who uses certian techniques to attract women and later delude them. Check the article Prince Charming your bad boy is not.

The thing is, we don’t need to straightaway abandon our partner, just because he doesn’t live up to the prince charming. Hollywood romantic movies are not based on reality. Personally, I know no couple who is perfect and who would be like straight from the movie scene. It’s the gap between expectation and reality that generates your life’s disappointments. 

happy mariage

Learn acceptance 

Switch off Netflix and switch on your brain. Learn to accept your partner the way he or she is. 

Even if before marriage you looked like a model and your hobby pumped up in the gym and now, in your fifties, you both have a beer belly, that’s alright. Time passes by and our bodies change. Instead of calling your partner fat, show him understanding and compassion. Maybe even you could both decide to try jogging together? Remember that both men and women want to feel accepted and cherished, despite the circumstances. 

I married the wrong person: Communication styles 

Many couples don’t talk to each other. Stressful lives and careers, commuting, and bringing up children often leaves us with no space for intimate conversation. When people marry, buy a house, and have children they tend to run an enterprise together. An enterprise called marriage. They are like business partners setting up the details of the kids’ education, grocery shopping, holidays, and house cleaning. 

Intimate conversation is crucial to mutual understanding. Both partners need to know what is happening in the heart of the other. Then, you can easily spot the signals, which contribute to so many couples parting. You can be observant, learn to talk about your needs if they are neglected. Learn to listen to your partner and his needs. Good communication and intimacy prevent your marriage from becoming an enterprise. Conversation brings people closer and ties the bonds. 

There’s no such thing as a perfect marriage (see also single mothers and excluded fathers). We often marry persons who show us our lacks and mirror our attitude to ourselves and to the external world. Maybe it runs in your family. Maybe your father divorced when he was 45 and now you catch yourself on the thought that you repeated his scenario. 

All people who come into our lives teach us something. Happy marriages are those in which partners don’t have huge expectations, respect each other, accept themselves the way they are, and communicate.

Is there anything you would add to it?

With love,


Single mothers and excluded fathers

There is a certain dynamic played out in contemporary society and it is called single mothers and excluded fathers. I have noticed that there are mothers who voluntarily exclude fathers from their child’s life.

There are many different life situations like the death of the father of the child, in vitro fertilization when the father is unknown. But today let me speak about mothers who restrict access of the father to the child, thus prohibiting the father to see the child, spend time with the child or take part in parenthood. Single mothers and excluded fathers is a drama in the contemporary world. Unfortunately, the numbers of single parents are increasing.

Sometimes this happens when the father has severe problems with himself – be it drug addiction, narcissistic personality, or other psychological disorders. In such cases it is understandable. Learn about most common mental health disorders in men.

But what to do if the excluded father is quite normal but his ex prohibits him to see the child?

Usually, single mothers are women who have been hurt. Their relationship didn’t work out and they live alone with a baby. They hold a grudge in their hearts against men, fathers of their children. Quite often single mothers are angry with their ex-partners or husbands. They didn’t forgive them and didn’t let go of the negative feelings or memories.

The problem is that in such a case the child will sense it. The child, subconsciously, will feel the anger of the mother towards the father. The child will feel, though not understand, that the father is a ‘bad man’ and doesn’t deserve to be loved. That’s how the dynamic single mothers and excluded fathers plays out. Remember that the child was created by two persons – a man and a woman. It consists of 2 energies – feminine and masculine.

What is the problem when you’re playing out the dynamic of single mothers and excluded fathers?

Your child growing up in such energies can develop low self-esteem. It can feel that masculinity is bad and excluded. It can sense that if the father is considered by the mother as a bad man, then the child who consists of 50% of the father can start to disrespect his own masculinity.

What happens when the child grows up without the father? Especially when the father is excluded.

Such a child will have a negative view of the father and masculinity. Father figure shows how to be a man, how to go to the outside world. Being a mother and a father are two different roles. Mother stands for femininity, nurture. Father stands for masculinity, the power to act, and taking decisions. Excluded father can contribute to exclusion of the above qualities from a child’s life.

Single mothers who are hurt can be, unfortunately, very proud. They’d rather say “I don’t want this person in my child’s life. I will grow the baby on my own” than “I will allow my ex to take care of his child”.

Usually, such behaviour stems from the family, where her mother or grandmother was a single mom or hated men. This can be worked through family constellations therapeutical method. Check out family constellations for beginners.

The child’s interest is the most important when the couple divorces or splits. Not a grudge against your ex. The child needs love and support from both parents and single motherhood with excluded father will never substitute it.

Family constellations for beginners

What are family constellations for beginners? What exactly is this method about? That’s always a tough question to explain but let me tell you a bit about it.

It didn’t start within you.

Family constellations are about healing the relationships in your family, which in turn heal you and your perception of reality.

You haven’t been born as a white sheet of paper. You come to this world IN A GIVEN FAMILY. What happened there, in the family, influences you. You might have the same emotional issues, suffer from the same diseases, or encounter the same difficulties of finding the right partner, just as an example.

These are the so-called patterns or emotional blockages. Dynamics and unconscious scenarios according to which you respond in a given situation. Take, for example, the dynamic of giving too much. Did you give too much and the man left you? The key in family constellations is to heal it, so that we are not burdening the next generation with our problems and blockages.

Genetics and epigenetics. What does it have to do with family constellations?

As you know we inherit many characteristics after our ancestors, like the eyes or hair color and body structure. I bet you heard a couple of times that ‘you look like your mother’ or ‘you have your father’s eyes.

Epigenetics says that we inherit also the emotions and traumas, that our ancestors didn’t deal with. We have the same reactions, the same challenges. For example, constant lack of money, unhappy relationships, divorced women left alone with children. See here how parents’ emotional trauma may change their children’s biology.

Now the question comes: why should I care about my ancestors problems? Why should they be transmitted to me and why should I be the one to deal with them?

Our bond with ancestors is something unique in the scale of human relationships and interactions. Due to the fact that we are not born as a tabula rasa, we get the ‘download’ from our parents and ancestors. Family constellations for beginners teach us that our parents created us. We are part of them if we like it or not. I don’t try to say here that if our parents and grandparents had cancer, we are also gonna get it. No. This depends if we inherit their ‘way of thinking and reacting’ or we take the power to change it.

In the family history, it might have happened that our grandmother got pregnant during the war and her husband was killed or escaped. This might influence the next generations, for example, her granddaughter is a single mother. The pattern plays out again but in different circumstances. Why do we repeat the fate of our parents? Listen to my free webinar on this subject:

We are not separated beings. We are connected to each other. And family constellations profoundly prove so and give us the tool to change these dynamics and start creating your own ones.

The best way to learn it, is to experience it on your own skin.

My boss doesn’t give me a raise

My boss doesn’t give me a raise although I work hard. I bet you know this. Have you ever heard about the Tiara Syndrome? It’s a special psychological term used to describe the belief that if you do everything properly, in your job, at home, etc. someone is going to appreciate it and put a crown on your head. 

Sheryl Sandberg cited “The Tiara Syndrome” in her book “Lean in”.

You sit quietly, you do your job the best you can and you think your boss is going to notice that and he will give you a pay raise. Usually, nothing like this happens.

My boss doesn’t appreciate me. He never gives me a raise. 

Check five signs your boss doesn’t appreciate you. So often you heard “sit quiet and do your job and they will notice you”. That’s what I’ve heard. So you sit, work long hours and wait and wait and expect that your time for ‘crowning’ will come. But it never comes. No raise, no good words from the boss but an increasing frustration. 

So many working women struggle with the Tiara Syndrome. 

  • What to do if you notice that your work is not appreciated though you deliver your best? 
  • What to do if you got stuck in your career being on the same junior position for 5 years? 

Take your fate in your own hands. Leave the job. Don’t wait for the crown, because you can wait forever. Stop complaining and cheating yourself. “My boss doesn’t give me a raise, so I’ll prove myself to him and work even harder” – you really wanna do that after spending 5 or 7 years at this job? Sometimes the best solution is to leave.You know you deserve more. Take action to get it. Even if this will mean changing your job. Anyways, you wouldn’t regret such a job with no prospects, would you?

Let’s talk about relationships now. I think Tiara Syndrome can be perfectly illustrated on the example of love relationships.

Sandra met John at a common friends’ party. They exchanged the phone numbers and smiled at each other with a sparkle in the eye. She liked him a lot. “Finally!” she thought. “The man of my dreams”. John’s attitude was a bit different. He said to his best friend: “she’s cool. Let’s see what will come out of that”. What happened next?

They met three times in a cafe, in a park, in a restaurant. Then, Sandra took the initiative and invited him over to her place for dinner. She prepared a menu of 3 dishes plus the dessert and excellent red wine. She put her make up on, the best dress from her closet and thought that this was it. This was the moment she was waiting for. She expected that the guy will be head over heels in love with her. 

Was he? Nope. Do you know why?

The man was no longer interested because Sandra gave herself on a plate. She was too much focused on herself and on giving a lot, and she didn’t ask herself “What is he giving me?” Did you give too much and the man left you?

The same goes for relationships and love. We do an excellent job, looking good, and giving our hearts on a plate to a man. Especially we, women. 

We fail to see and analyze if the man appreciates us and gives us his masculine energy in exchange for our feminine. We wait and hope the guy is going to love us and pamper us later on, but we don’t see the signals saying that we gave too many cookies and fed him too much. Our cookie bakery gets closed, and we finally see what mistakes we did.

What to do about that? 

Start appreciating yourself. Give, but also take. Ask for more and if someone says he cannot give it to you – leave. Don’t be afraid to ask your boss for what you deserve. When it doesn’t function, you know what to do, right?

Overplanned in your free time?

Dominic worked a lot. After work he hit the local gym, worked out, picked some chicken sandwich with guacamole from the supermarket, hurrying up because in Switzerland they close at 21:00. Do you feel overplanned in your free time, like he? 

Mondays pushing at the gym. Tuesdays learning German at the Sprachschule. Wednesdays playing squash with his friend. Thursdays going out for dates in fancy bars and restaurants. Fridays packing his bags and departing for a weekend trip.

Overplanned – stressful consequences

 You might ask: “But what is so strange or inappropriate about it?!”

Leisure stress plantation of creativity

Nothing. But Dominic’s feelings were far from pleasant. He was constantly stressed. He needed to pack the day before, depending on which activity he will pursue on a given day. Then, traffic on the road and stress if he will make it for the date. Busy every day, all the time. After 6 months he took psychological help because he couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t focus and he was constantly exhausted. 

Each one of us has free time and it is our decision what we do about it and how we shape it. However, free time means something different for us. 

Martha: “Free time is the time I have when I don’t need to be at work”.

Kevin: “I understand free time as the time when I don’t need to do anything, even cooking or cleaning”.

Jacob: “Free time does not exist. There is always something to do”.

What’s your definition of free time? Why you might experience leisure time stress and feel overplanned in your free time? Let me give you two examples of free time stress.


 Like Dominic, you are planned the whole week with different types of activities. You think you can do it, but the weekend comes and you’re dead from tiredness. 


You don’t plan your free time and when it comes, you are frightened and stressed about “but what will I do?”.

What to do to avoid leisure stress?
  • Don’t take too much on your shoulders

Let your body relax and recover. You don’t need to hit the gym every day after work.

  • Learn to rest.

Let go. Lay in bed with a book. Sleep. The world will not collapse if you rest in quiet.

  • Be gentle with yourself. 

You are not a machine but an intricate biological computer. You need TIME for everything. It also relates to resting. 

  • Find good ways to relax

Switch off your computer and phone, go out to a forest or a park. Breathe fresh air. Sometimes a change like this can bring the awakening and change.

What of you think you can plan it all and avoid stress? Learn more on the dangers of over-planning.

Did you give too much and the man left you?

Many women contact me and tell me “I gave him everything, I was so good to him, and then he left me. Why did this happen? What’s wrong with me?“. If you overserve and agree for crumbles of love, crumbles of attention – this is what usually happens. Shifting your own plans for the sake of dating. Being too much available and accepting bad manners and bad behavior from the side of men, because you’re „a good girl”.

“Good girls go the heaven, bad girls to hell” – would you agree? Me – definitely not.


How it comes that good girls usually suffer? I coach women a lot. And I’ve noticed that kind of paradigm that women want to be nice to the man. They want to offer a lot. They want to be themselves and try too much so that the relationship can work.

So, what is wrong about that?

Have ever wondered why you have offered so much, you have been a good, nice girl, and then the guy dumps you or he is not interested in you. Or he ignores your text messages.

Well, that is the main issue of being a good girl. You are a nice woman. But do you still live according to your values?


A good girl

I think that there are many women out there, who are single, feel lonely or simply want to have a true and loving relationship. And that’s why they’re letting men to overstep their boundaries or to ignore them. And they are being too nice afterward.

Let’s say, that two days ago you’ve proposed a meeting to a guy. To go to a cinema or a café, or enjoy a meal and a glass of red wine. And then you write to him to confirm, that it is still on for the evening.

And then the guy texts you back the very same day the meeting is gonna be held. The very same day, during lunchtime the guy informs you, that actually it could have been better if you met tomorrow. And then you think that maybe he has something urgent to do.

But well, you’ve proposed this meeting 3 days ago and he texts me in the last moment to inform me, that he cancels.

And then, like a good girl, as a nice woman you tend to justify him:

„Maybe he has a visit to a doctor, maybe he is tired after work, so I will shift my own meeting and make time for him tomorrow night”.

This is the mistake number one that you do when it comes to shifting your own plans and pleasing another person. This is what you are doing when you’re canceling your own plans only because a guy you’ve been dating says, he cancels for the very last moment. And asks you to make the next day.

So this is about being too much available.

You give yourself, you are so nice that you want to please the guy. And of course, there is nothing wrong with pleasing a guy, but it’s like with cookies, a chocolate or a cake. Piece by piece, you cannot eat the whole chocolate at once. Because then you will feel very bad. On a standard daily basis, you wouldn’t do that. You would take a piece, but not the full one. 


So, imagine.

  • If you are too nice to guys,
  • if you accept such behavior like canceling the very last minute, postponing or texting us the very same they that they cannot make it,
  • if you agree to everything they propose later on, although you’ve already made some plans (or even if your plan was to stay long in bed and read a book you wanted to read), 

Then you give too much.

Too much for someone who is not ready to invest, for someone who is not ready to keep his word, for someone, who cancels a meeting with you the very last moment. 


I know that each one of us, women, has been through these moments of being a very good girl. But all I want you to know is that being nice or too nice, or accepting everything means hurting yourself. Because if you are too nice to a guy, you kind of try to validate yourself. You are feeling so insecure inside, that you just want to be good enough, wonderful, and so on. 

But this is not the right way to do so.

First, you need to build up your own self-confidence. Because you need to love yourself the way you are. Being nice is okay up to a limit. And each person has his or her own limits. And of course, we want to be loved and cherished. We want to have a true connection with our partners. And yes, we are ready to invest a lot.

But when you invest your time and energy in someone, just observe if you don’t agree for too much. Especially if the guy cancels or if he does not respond to your requests or emails. 

Recently, I’ve also had a case when a guy texted me and I proposed a meeting under certain conditions. And then he totally ignored the message and came up with something different. So, this shows a lack of respect.

So a lesson learned is that nice women suffer. But not because of the guy. Because of their own lack of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence. Of trusting themselves and not giving too much to the other person.

How to stop criticizing yourself?

We pass by a shop window and criticize our looks. We get up in the morning, look in the mirror and tell ourselves how ugly/fat/swollen we are. How to change that and start your days with positive and loving thoughts about yourself? How to stop criticizing yourself and learn to love yourself instead? I reveal two powerful techniques that can change your life by changing your attitude towards yourself.

In this video we’re gonna talk about a relationship with yourself and how to stop criticizing yourself. Nowadays I see many people who tend to criticize themselves too much. And it is also my case.

Why do you do it? Have you ever asked yourself this question?

I like to observe people. Sometimes I see women who go shopping on a shopping street. And when their passing by a shop window, they take a look at themselves just to see if they look ok.

And we are just doing it every day. But the worst thing is that we always find something that we don’t like.


Oh my god, my hair is not so good today”,

I look a little bit too fat, I need to go on a diet“,

I could dress a little bit better because this doesn’t suit me“.

And then you go further your way. But what is happening in your brain, is that you tell yourself bad things about yourself, you criticize yourself, you are unable to say: “I look really good! I am a very beautiful woman“.

No, you do quite the opposite.

Instead of appreciating yourself, you look in a shop window or a mirror and criticize yourself for what you think you don’t have (or what you think you have wrong). Like your body weight or your complexion. Maybe your skin is not perfect or your hair is messy – sounds familiar?

  • But is it necessary?
  • Do you need to criticize yourself?
  • Why do you do it?

And the answer is: because you don’t love yourself. And I think that loving yourself is one of the most important things in your life.


That is a good question. Especially we, women, give our love to the outside world. We tend to love our husbands, partners or children. We inspire others. But then, when it comes to relationships with ourselves – we simply can’t do it. We criticize ourselves. We keep asking those questions:

“Honey, do I look good in this dress? I think that I am too fat, I think, I have put on weight”.

And this is very sad. Also because I know it from my own experience. I’ve also had some issues with the lack of self-acceptance. And it is not a pleasant feeling.


That’s why I want to present you with a tool, with a technique which will help you to stop torturing yourself. It is a small exercise that you can do every day and it doesn’t require extra time or effort.

You can do it at home or each time when you go to work, for shopping or dinner outside. Whenever you pass a mirror or shop window, or in the ladies room at your workplace – take a look into yourself.

Look yourself in the eyes and:

  • Try to tell yourself that you are beautiful.
  • Try to find what are you happy about today with your looks.


You know, my hair is looking good today“,

Those shadows on my eyes are really beautiful“,

I have a lovely smile, my eyes are sparkling!“.

How to stop criticizing yourself

You will always find something that you like about yourself. So don’t start your day with negative thoughts. Life is all about making choices. And the first choice starts in our thoughts.

If you love yourself, you decrease the number of thoughts that worry you, conclusions that make you harm.

How do you feel when you keep telling yourself: “Oh gosh, I really look fat!“? Does it make you feel good? For sure not.

So stop doing it. Stop criticizing yourself.

The second exercise is for those of you who would like to spend more time cherishing yourself. Every day write down in your notebook what do I like about yourself.

Let’s say:

  • I am intelligent,
  • I am a wise woman,
  • I am very warm,
  • I cook delicious food,
  • I am a beautiful woman.

Try to compile, to pull things you like about yourself. Stick this list to a fridge or a mirror and take a look at it every morning. Instead of looking in the mirror and telling yourself bad things try to read your list, smile to yourself and notice what do you like about yourself at this moment.

Believe me, it is a very powerful exercise. Try it.

And share it with those who need it as well.

I deserve better

Sometimes you are in a hurting and painful relationship but you still decide to stay. You have no courage to leave this person out of fear. Fear of being alone, fear of uncomfortable feelings, fear of allowing yourself for something or someone better. How to beat your fears? How to allow yourself to have the courage to make wise decisions? In this video, I talk about being courageous in a relationship. Standing for yourself. Having the courage to file for the long-delayed divorce or having the courage to say to yourself: “I deserve better”.

In this video, with beautiful scenery of the Swiss Alps, I am gonna talk about the subject of courage. The subject of not only a personal courage, of how to be brave and courageous but also about having courage in relationships.

I deserve better

So many women and so many men don’t have what they wish for. What I mean by this is sometimes you wonder:

Should I leave this guy if he’s not good enough for me? Should I leave him? Because he’s causing me some trouble, he’s causing me some suffering, he’s not making me happy”.

And sometimes we lack the courage like I did before I came to the Gornergrat.

I have a fear of heights. I am always scared of the mountains and my record was 2000 meters about the sea level. And here we are in Zermatt, Gornergrat train station. Zermatt-Matterhorn is a majestic, beautiful mountain. And of course, I was afraid of coming to 3000 meters above the sea level. To the highest altitude hotel in Europe.

So how was I able to make it? With having fear of heights and open space?

About this fear, I want to talk today.

We all have different fears in our relationships. And we all think that it is better to have someone than to have not. And sometimes maybe you are considering getting a divorce. Sometimes you think:

“Yes, I deserve a better man”, “I deserve a better woman”.

But somehow, you lack the courage, like me here, before taking the little train up, because you may think that it is hard to breathe or uncomfortable.

I didn’t look on the train sides, because it was really going steep up and I have the fear of heights.

So you act the same way:

  • When you think that you cannot do something
  • When you cannot say and go beyond your limit
  • While you think that you don’t deserve a better partner than the one you have.

Yes, the emotions are the same as going up the Gornergrat Bahn to 3000 meters. The emotions are equal to the emotions you feel while wondering if you should leave your partner.

I deserve better

But as soon as you’ll make the decision, as soon as you’ll tell yourself: “Yes, I can do it“, “I am worth it to go up“, to see this wonderful view and beat my fears. Like you can say to yourself: “I am worth it to have a better man” or a woman, or a better, loving relationship.

Then you take the decision naturally, despite fear and despite the fact that it is hard to breathe because of the tears or your blockages. You allow yourself for it like I allowed myself or my emotions while going on the steep, little train up here to the highest hotel in Europe.

Yes, I’ve been there where you are. But I did everything I could to face and conquer my fears.

So how about you? Why don’t you have this courage in your daily life, your daily relationships? Why don’t you leave the guy or divorce him when he is not good for you? When he makes you suffer very much?

You quarrel, you come together, you come separate, you come together and so on.

If you don’t close these doors, no other doors will open. If I would not close the doors of my fears, of coming up to the Gornergrat, I would not be able to make this video and maybe to inspire you to open the new doors for you.

And this is what I wish for you today.

The courage:

  • of going your own way,
  • of respecting your own choices,
  • of making better choices for yourself.

The courage to go beyond your limits.

Thank you,

Aleksandra Bzdzikot