Did you always want to learn how to draw? Are you a person who is more motivated in a group? Drawing skills can be learned. Allow me to take you out for an evening drawing class at Kunsthaus in Zurich.
This class is devoted to drawing a woman portrait. Our master painter will be Pierre-Auguste Renoir and his impressionistic portrait of a lady.
Technique: pencil and watercolor crayons on paper.
You will learn:
A couple of interesting facts about Renoir and his place among art masters.
How to draw a woman portrait, directions and proportions, lines, shadowing, gaining depth and coloring.
Basic techniques for drawing with pencil and watercolor crayons
Don’t worry if you’re a beginner. You will enjoy this class immensely.
Have you been to a coach and nothing changed after? Discover three reasons why coaching doesn’t work for you.
1. You are not willing to change.
You hang on to your old beliefs and your comfort zone. Don’t feel like learning something new. Ultimately, your life is not so bad, is it? Maybe it’s now either wonderful, but you’re making it through. You feel you could try to enroll in a coaching program, but then you discover how much work it is and you simply give up. Old habits take the lead.
Change is always painful. Take working on your diet. You want to lose 7 kg. So you introduce sport, healthy snacks, constant watching over what you eat. Avoiding temptations on your way like your favorite chocolate ice cream. And it’s not easy. It’s tough work. Saying ‘no’ to sweets and couch sitting and ‘Netflixing’.
When we change we give up one of our life patterns. Part of ourselves that we want to change. You need a strong motivation to do it.
2. You expect a huge change.
You signed up for a famous coach. Hurray! You are excited and you can’t wait to start. You think your life will be divided into BEFORE and AFTER coaching. Full of hopes and expectations you picture your life changed at 180 degrees after coaching. Like a fairy tale.
Whoa! Hold your horses. When you hold high expectations from a coach you think someone else will magically solve your problems. But the truth is: you are responsible for your coaching. A coach can just help you, show you your problems and their background but everything else is your responsibility. So if you have a job you hate it is your responsibility to change it. A coach can help you with different methods of working on your issue, but he will not do it for you. Coaching doesn’t fix it all. Better not to expect too much but to start rolling up your sleeves and doing the work.
3. “I know it all” attitude.
So you think that all the coaches speak about the same stuff. How to love yourself, how to find a better job, how to change. You’ve listened to tons of free videos on YouTube and you think you know it all.
Listening to videos, reading motivational books, and going on retreats won’t work because it’s just a theory. In order to change something in your life, you will need to put it into practice. You will need to commit to making coaching exercises and making time for that. Just the way you commit yourself to go to a gym two times a week.
Have you ever tried coaching? Did it work for you?
My boss doesn’t give me a raise although I work hard. I bet you know this. Have you ever heard about the Tiara Syndrome? It’s a special psychological term used to describe the belief that if you do everything properly, in your job, at home, etc. someone is going to appreciate it and put a crown on your head.
Sheryl Sandberg cited “The Tiara Syndrome” in her book “Lean in”.
You sit quietly, you do your job the best you can and you think your boss is going to notice that and he will give you a pay raise. Usually, nothing like this happens.
My boss doesn’t appreciate me. He never gives me a raise.
Check five signs your boss doesn’t appreciate you. So often you heard “sit quiet and do your job and they will notice you”. That’s what I’ve heard. So you sit, work long hours and wait and wait and expect that your time for ‘crowning’ will come. But it never comes. No raise, no good words from the boss but an increasing frustration.
So many working women struggle with the Tiara Syndrome.
What to do if you notice that your work is not appreciated though you deliver your best?
What to do if you got stuck in your career being on the same junior position for 5 years?
Take your fate in your own hands. Leave the job. Don’t wait for the crown, because you can wait forever. Stop complaining and cheating yourself. “My boss doesn’t give me a raise, so I’ll prove myself to him and work even harder” – you really wanna do that after spending 5 or 7 years at this job? Sometimes the best solution is to leave.You know you deserve more. Take action to get it. Even if this will mean changing your job. Anyways, you wouldn’t regret such a job with no prospects, would you?
Let’s talk about relationships now. I think Tiara Syndrome can be perfectly illustrated on the example of love relationships.
Sandra met John at a common friends’ party. They exchanged the phone numbers and smiled at each other with a sparkle in the eye. She liked him a lot. “Finally!” she thought. “The man of my dreams”. John’s attitude was a bit different. He said to his best friend: “she’s cool. Let’s see what will come out of that”. What happened next?
They met three times in a cafe, in a park, in a restaurant. Then, Sandra took the initiative and invited him over to her place for dinner. She prepared a menu of 3 dishes plus the dessert and excellent red wine. She put her make up on, the best dress from her closet and thought that this was it. This was the moment she was waiting for. She expected that the guy will be head over heels in love with her.
Was he? Nope. Do you know why?
The man was no longer interested because Sandra gave herself on a plate. She was too much focused on herself and on giving a lot, and she didn’t ask herself “What is he giving me?” Did you give too much and the man left you?
The same goes for relationships and love. We do an excellent job, looking good, and giving our hearts on a plate to a man. Especially we, women.
We fail to see and analyze if the man appreciates us and gives us his masculine energy in exchange for our feminine. We wait and hope the guy is going to love us and pamper us later on, but we don’t see the signals saying that we gave too many cookies and fed him too much. Our cookie bakery gets closed, and we finally see what mistakes we did.
What to do about that?
Start appreciating yourself. Give, but also take. Ask for more and if someone says he cannot give it to you – leave. Don’t be afraid to ask your boss for what you deserve. When it doesn’t function, you know what to do, right?
Many women contact me and tell me “I gave him everything, I was so good to him, and then he left me. Why did this happen? What’s wrong with me?“. If you overserve and agree for crumbles of love, crumbles of attention – this is what usually happens. Shifting your own plans for the sake of dating. Being too much available and accepting bad manners and bad behavior from the side of men, because you’re „a good girl”.
“Good girls go the heaven, bad girls to hell” – would you agree? Me – definitely not.
ARE YOU A GOOD GIRL?
How it comes that good girls usually suffer? I coach women a lot. And I’ve noticed that kind of paradigm that women want to be nice to the man. They want to offer a lot. They want to be themselves and try too much so that the relationship can work.
So, what is wrong about that?
Have ever wondered why you have offered so much, you have been a good, nice girl, and then the guy dumps you or he is not interested in you. Or he ignores your text messages.
Well, that is the main issue of being a good girl. You are a nice woman. But do you still live according to your values?
THE BIGGEST MISTAKE THAT A GOOD GIRL DOES
I think that there are many women out there, who are single, feel lonely or simply want to have a true and loving relationship. And that’s why they’re letting men to overstep their boundaries or to ignore them. And they are being too nice afterward.
Let’s say, that two days ago you’ve proposed a meeting to a guy. To go to a cinema or a café, or enjoy a meal and a glass of red wine. And then you write to him to confirm, that it is still on for the evening.
And then the guy texts you back the very same day the meeting is gonna be held. The very same day, during lunchtime the guy informs you, that actually it could have been better if you met tomorrow. And then you think that maybe he has something urgent to do.
But well, you’ve proposed this meeting 3 days ago and he texts me in the last moment to inform me, that he cancels.
And then, like a good girl, as a nice woman you tend to justify him:
„Maybe he has a visit to a doctor, maybe he is tired after work, so I will shift my own meeting and make time for him tomorrow night”.
This is the mistake number one that you do when it comes to shifting your own plans and pleasing another person. This is what you are doing when you’re canceling your own plans only because a guy you’ve been dating says, he cancels for the very last moment. And asks you to make the next day.
So this is about being too much available.
You give yourself, you are so nice that you want to please the guy. And of course, there is nothing wrong with pleasing a guy, but it’s like with cookies, a chocolate or a cake. Piece by piece, you cannot eat the whole chocolate at once. Because then you will feel very bad. On a standard daily basis, you wouldn’t do that. You would take a piece, but not the full one.
STOP GIVING TOO MUCH
If you are too nice to guys,
if you accept such behavior like canceling the very last minute, postponing or texting us the very same they that they cannot make it,
if you agree to everything they propose later on, although you’ve already made some plans (or even if your plan was to stay long in bed and read a book you wanted to read),
Then you give too much.
Too much for someone who is not ready to invest, for someone who is not ready to keep his word, for someone, who cancels a meeting with you the very last moment.
STOP HURTING YOURSELF
I know that each one of us, women, has been through these moments of being a very good girl. But all I want you to know is that being nice or too nice, or accepting everything means hurting yourself. Because if you are too nice to a guy, you kind of try to validate yourself. You are feeling so insecure inside, that you just want to be good enough, wonderful, and so on.
But this is not the right way to do so.
First, you need to build up your own self-confidence. Because you need to love yourself the way you are. Being nice is okay up to a limit. And each person has his or her own limits. And of course, we want to be loved and cherished. We want to have a true connection with our partners. And yes, we are ready to invest a lot.
But when you invest your time and energy in someone, just observe if you don’t agree for too much. Especially if the guy cancels or if he does not respond to your requests or emails.
Recently, I’ve also had a case when a guy texted me and I proposed a meeting under certain conditions. And then he totally ignored the message and came up with something different. So, this shows a lack of respect.
So a lesson learned is that nice women suffer. But not because of the guy. Because of their own lack of self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence. Of trusting themselves and not giving too much to the other person.
Sometimes you are in a hurting and painful relationship but you still decide to stay. You have no courage to leave this person out of fear. Fear of being alone, fear of uncomfortable feelings, fear of allowing yourself for something or someone better. How to beat your fears? How to allow yourself to have the courage to make wise decisions? In this video, I talk about being courageous in a relationship. Standing for yourself. Having the courage to file for the long-delayed divorce or having the courage to say to yourself: “I deserve better”.
In this video, with beautiful scenery of the Swiss Alps, I am gonna talk about the subject of courage. The subject of not only a personal courage, of how to be brave and courageous but also about having courage in relationships.
I deserve better
many women and so many men don’t have what they wish for. What I mean
by this is sometimes you wonder:
„Should I leave this guy if he’s not good enough for me? Should I leave him? Because he’s causing me some trouble, he’s causing me some suffering, he’s not making me happy”.
And sometimes we lack the courage like I did before I came to the Gornergrat.
have a fear of heights. I am always scared of the mountains and my
record was 2000 meters about the sea level. And here we are in
Zermatt, Gornergrat train station. Zermatt-Matterhorn is a majestic,
beautiful mountain. And of course, I was afraid of coming to 3000
meters above the sea level. To the highest altitude hotel in Europe.
how was I able to make it? With having fear of heights and open
About this fear, I want to talk today.
all have different fears in our relationships. And we all think that
it is better to have someone than to have not. And sometimes maybe
you are considering getting a divorce. Sometimes you think:
“Yes, I deserve a better man”, “I deserve a better woman”.
somehow, you lack the courage, like me here, before taking the little
train up, because you may think that it is hard to breathe or
didn’t look on the train sides, because it was really going steep up
and I have the fear of heights.
So you act the same way:
When you think that you cannot do something
When you cannot say and go beyond your limit
While you think that you don’t deserve a better partner than the one you have.
the emotions are the same as going up the Gornergrat Bahn to 3000
meters. The emotions are equal to the emotions you feel while
wondering if you should leave your partner.
as soon as you’ll make the decision, as soon as you’ll tell yourself:
“Yes, I can do it“,
“I am worth it to go up“,
to see this wonderful view and beat my fears. Like you can say to
yourself: “I am worth it to have
a better man” or a woman, or a
better, loving relationship.
you take the decision naturally, despite fear and despite the fact
that it is hard to breathe because of the tears or your blockages.
You allow yourself for it like I allowed myself or my emotions while
going on the steep, little train up here to the highest hotel in
Yes, I’ve been there where you are. But I did everything I could to face and conquer my fears.
how about you? Why don’t you have this courage in your daily life,
your daily relationships? Why don’t you leave the guy or divorce him
when he is not good for you? When he makes you suffer very much?
quarrel, you come together, you come separate, you come together and
you don’t close these doors, no other doors will open. If I would not
close the doors of my fears, of coming up to the Gornergrat, I would
not be able to make this video and maybe to inspire you to open the
new doors for you.
How they are born? What makes men weak and women strong?
EQUAL BUT DIFFERENT
to the family constellations method, the first place in the family
belongs to the man.
He leads, builds a house, goes out to hunt and provides food and shelter for his woman. The second place belongs to the woman, who takes care of the internal world – children, home, cooking, and household management. Nowadays according to the studies women are getting stronger.
First and second places are just functions. We don’t talk here about the first as ‘better’ and the ‘second’ as worse. Men and women are equal as sexes but were created to fulfill different functions, thus complementing each other. Yin and yang. Sun and moon. Masculine and feminine.
During the past years, a lot has changed between feminine and masculine roles. Men built a world where there was no place for women. Witches and female shamans were a threat to the men of those times, because of their advanced knowledge. So, men burned them at stakes. Hurting the feminine and cursing women who gave birth to baby-girls.
Then, there were wars, like the 1st and 2nd World War, which decimated men. The masculine fell down and didn’t have the strength to get up. Boys were raised by mothers and grandmothers because fathers died at war. Today we have many strong women. It all comes as an aftermath of war. An aftermath nobody ever took into account.
Who is a strong woman?
A woman who is focused on being successful in her career? A woman who can do without a man? A woman who stands by her partner? A woman who is feminine? Dressed in a flowery dress, connected to her intuition, loving and caring?
Look closely at her. Look at her mother. How was her mother like? Was her mother feminine? Or maybe she was raised on the anger of her mother, who was left alone after the war with five kids to feed?
Maybe your grandmother ruled in the house because she had no choice. Left alone on the ashes of war with five kids to take care of. This is where the anger on men starts.
I’ve seen it many times during family constellations. Women’s anger on men. A murderous anger.
The anger of pain of being left alone with no help of a beloved man to survive. So, the women needed to stand in the men’s place. In the masculine. They made themselves strong and carried masculine burdens of taking on masculine roles.
ask yourself a question. An important one.
you have a tendency to carry a lot on your shoulders? Do you, as a
woman, constantly control everyone and everything? Do
you rule in the house, because all needs to be done “your way”?
Or maybe you’re a man and you were raised by a mother who was always pissed on your father? Who always criticized him and dominated him?
Do you remember this moment when as a child you dreamed about leaving your home and being away from the mother who always told you what you should do and how you should do it?
The war is long over. Time to make peace.
Time to understand that women and men both need each other. We need to acknowledge our incompleteness.
We need to understand that a feminine needs a stable and strong masculine. And masculine needs warm and sensitive feminine.
Look at your ancestors and ask yourself – can I have it a different way than you?
The answer will come. Today is a good day to wake up, see the patterns which existed in your family and break them by deciding that you will allow yourself to act differently. To be a masculine man. Or a feminine woman.
If you noticed that you are a strong woman, learn how to properly let go, relax and learn the art of happiness.
Aleksandra Bzdzikot Certified family constellations therapist Certified art therapist
When we were kids, art time was often the best part of grammar school. Who didn’t enjoy coloring, drawing, and painting? It was fun, relaxing, and you got a wonderful euphoric feeling from creating something you made with your own hands.
you proceeded to working life in front of a computer for 8 hours a
day. At least. The movements of your hands were limited to typing on
the computer keyboard and your imagination was put to sleep like your
beloved ill dog, which suffered from cancer.
Yes. A sad story. Today we are no longer creative. We have far less ways to express our emotions. We shout at our kids, we pump at the gym, we come home edgy after a full day at work… Jenny was like this until she discovered art therapy.
She never would have thought that art therapy could help her through the toughest spots in her life, but it actually did. It helped her to release all her emotions, without the need to scream or pull out your hair from your head.
IS ART THERAPY?
Art therapy is a form of psychotherapy that uses a variety of art media as its primary mode of communication and expression. It’s a particularly useful method of finding ways to explore difficult emotions. I use art to help grown-ups and children deal with emotions including loss, grief, transitions, attachment, emotional, bullying, mental health, behavioral issues, and confidence issues among others.
There is something so freeing about art therapy. The goal of art therapy is not a production of an art masterpiece, it is rather a creative process in which you take out all hurtful and sad emotions to the daylight. From your brain, heart, as well as the subconscious mind. You speak, not with words, but with colors and images. You move, you create, you are in the flow.
All you do is you move your brush or pencil, create, take it all out with fierce red or the blackest black.
ARE THE BENEFITS OF ART THERAPY?
1. You reduce stress.
You had a bad day at work. You have a problem with your boss. You come to an art therapy session. You imagine you are telling your boss everything by colors and lines you put on paper in front of you. Thinking about your boss and your feelings towards him/her, you let these feelings come out. When you finish you feel relieved, born again, happier.
2. You address past traumas.
Do you remember that hurtful break-up between you and this man you so much cared for? You buried it deep down inside and from that time your relationships with men are not going well. In the art therapy session, you work to release the emotions about that break-up, which are still present in your body and mind. Maybe you didn’t express them before? Maybe it was too painful to dwell in it? Now is the moment to say a proper ‘good-bye’ with art therapy method.
therapy is great when dealing with marriage problems or divorce.
quite often use art therapy unconsciously, when for example, their
parents quarrel or divorce.
of Creativity leads art therapy sessions for children and adults.
Contact us and schedule your first session with us!
“If you’re feeling blue, try painting yourself a different color”.
Rainy autumn day. Monica sat down on the couch after coming back from work. A pack of Lays Chips of fromage taste was lying near on the coffee table.
said to herself: “Well, I worked hard
today in a job which I don’t like. I deserved these chips.”
voice in her head asked the same question as yesterday evening:
“Monica, what about using this time to
build up your own business that you’ve been dreaming of for so
did not reply and ignored the voice. She forwarded her hand to reach
for the chips, switched her computer on and started to watch a movie.
No stress. No effort. Just distraction. Imagine it is you who eats these chips and watches a movie. Would you regret it later on?
Regret is one of the basic human emotions. Sometimes we regret small things – that we worried too much, that we didn’t take the number form the girl we liked or that we simply, just like Monica, postponed our dreams and ate chips to cover our feelings up.
It’s normal. Life is not a test from mathematics. We cannot fully prepare for life. We come to our thirties or forties and wonder: “What the hell am I doing in this job?”. Then, still, we sit and watch a different movie every evening and eat chips to console our feeling of being “too late for changes”.
Usually, when I ask people why they don’t do what they dream of, they answer: “it’s not worth it, I am already 35” or “It’s too late. So much time has passed by”.
Yes. It is sad that you lost so much time. You made stupid mistakes. You ate chips and watched movies every single night. This time will not come back.
Looking form this perspective, we can say that today is everything we’ve got. You can either eat your chips and complain about how much time has already passed by or take care that you will lose no more of it.
BE CONSCIOUS OF THE PRESENT MOMENT.
Your future exists only in your imagination and not in a material world. Plus, by the way, you create your future today, at this very moment. This moment is everything you’ve got. When you think about the past where are you? In the present. The same, when you think about the future. Eckhart Tolle speaks about it in his fascinating book “The power of the present”.
MAKE SMALL STEPS TOWARDS YOUR DREAM EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Exchange chips & movie evening into taking action towards your plans. Reorganize your desk. Get rid of stuff you no longer need. Go for a walk. Sign up for a drawing class. Change your job.
Your future depends on what you are doing today. It is not too late to change your profession or learn something new.
At least, when you do it now, you’ll say after years: “Good that I started in October 2019”, instead of saying “Pity, I didn’t start it earlier” when you’ll be 50.
1. Life is a game Aleksandra. It’s neither a Moroccan bazaar nor an ascetic cave. If you wanna play good learn the rules of the game called Life.
2. Love yourself because you are beautiful the way you are. Don’t listen to your colleagues making fun of your body. Let yourself be.
3. Be grateful for everything you have and the family who surrounds you. These persons might depart any moment and it’s important to love them the way you love yourself. Show them your affection and love. Even if they don’t show it to you.
4. Play, swing and have fun in the playground. The time for books and learning will come later.
5. Each failure is a next step towards your success. Those who don’t make mistakes never grow and never learn. So take your bike again, fall again and learn how to ride!
Do you write down your goals and dreams? Do you move towards them? Or you simply prefer to sip your coffee, write your goals in a beautiful golden notebook, listen to countless coaching videos on how to finally make your dreams true and still not move your finger towards your plans?
Last week in Zurich, Switzerland we were learning how to grab the wheel of the ship called ‘life’ and how to fulfil our dreams.
You know the saying “dreams come true”, don’t you? I think it’s trumpery.
You have thousands of life coaches who give you advise on “how to attract things into your life”, but only a few of them really know the missing ingredient of the soup called ‘the life broth’.
Last week in Zurich the Plantation of Creativity organised creative-coaching workshops to uncover the key missing ingredient in our life broth. Using a Feng-Shui method based on Bagua Map, we were learning to spot out true dreams and discover the ways on how to fulfil them. Also, we learned how to avoid the traps of “positive thinking” and setting too many goals for the year.
The majority of the dreams were focused on love and relationships. During the workshops the participants learned the hard truth of what a personal happiness means and the secret ingredient of a happy relationship.
Are you a woman whose dream is to meet a man who will take your sorrows away and be a prince on a horse? If yes, then I have bad news for you. The prince won’t arrive, even on a pony. If you will be sitting, complaining and waiting for a man to ‘save you’ then you didn’t get it right.
The same goes if you’re a man looking for a princess who will brighten up your life, give you a life purpose and finally motivate you to change for better. The fact is, we, princesses like men who are already motivated and don’t need a woman to motivate them and tell them what to do.
If we are not happy with ourselves, we won’t be happy with another person. If we won’t take care of our well-being and of our personal plans and goals and simply wait for the other person to come and fill our life, we will wait forever, like for a bus on a desert, which will never come…
What makes you happy and attractive for the other person is how you live your life. It doesn’t matter if you drive Maserati and spend your weekends in St Moritz or on a beach in Hawaii. What matters is if your Maserati and St Moritz weekends give you joy and make you as happy as Larry. By the way, can you be happy stripped off of your car and luxurious vacation? Sitting in a pyjama, reading a book and looking out the window enjoying the snowfall?
If yes, I congratulate you. You seem to have got it right.
If you enjoy being with yourself, you will enjoy being with the other person. And only then the “Bailando” of love will start to happen… 😉