The Art of Happiness

Do you know how your thoughts drift you away from your fulfilled and happy life? Maybe you always thought that happiness is butterfly which is always slipping through your fingertips?

the art of happiness

I’m not going to give you a definition of what ‘happiness’ is. Each of us has his own definition, which is in accordance with our values and belief system.

Lately, I’ve been watching “The affair” TV series. The main protagonist, Noah Solloway, had it all. A beautiful and loving wife, 4 healthy kids and a cosy home in the city. Yet, he was not happy. Later on, in the next seasons, he divorced his wife, took another woman and had a baby with her. Yet, he was not happy. I won’t spill the beans of how it all ends.

How many of you out there are like Noah Solloway?

Never happy with what you have. Never knowing what you actually want. Not appreciating what you have. Drifting through life insatiably.

HAPPINESS IS ANOTHER FORM OF CREATION. YOU DESIGN IT WITH YOUR THOUGHTS.

Sounds easy, hm? Easy for someone who is well aware of the power of our thoughts and is already using it.

What if, let’s say, you grew up in a poor family with a negative view on everything? What if all your friends around complain about how hard it is to earn well or to meet a good life partner? What if you don’t believe in yourself, because no one else believes in the success of your business idea?

Discover 5 mental habits on how you can create more happiness in your life.

1. PERCEPTION

The first step on your way to happiness is the ability to perceive good things in your life. If you go through your day thinking only about the bad stuff, bad weather, bad boss and lack of money, no wonder you attract it in your life.

Think about the positive things that happened during your day. Maybe someone gave you a smile on the tram or you drank a cup of your favourite coffee?

2. GRATEFULNESS

Every morning, straight after your wake-up, think about 4 things that you are grateful for today. The more positive things you perceive the higher your happiness level 🙂

3. LETTING GO

Let go of grudges ad anger towards people in your life. Are you still angry with your parents that they criticise you all the time? Time to let go. Time to give a hug to your dad and tell him how much you love him. Holding grudges and anger destroys you inside. As soon as you let go, regardless of the other person’s feelings, you find peace and clear off your head from negative emotions.

4. PURSUE YOUR DREAMS

Have dreams. Dare to dream and fulfil your dreams. This can give you so much power when you’re on your way to creating the life you want. You dream about meeting your other half? Then go out more, socialise, have the courage to meet new people.

5. APPRECIATE YOUR ROOTS

Even if you don’t like your family town or you have difficult relations with your parents, learn to appreciate your roots. Your family gave you everything they could. They fed you, educated you and loved you. Yes. Even when they didn’t know how to show this love. You owe them respect. They created you. Thanks to them you could come to this world and experience this life. Learn to appreciate it.

Let me end this post with a quote from my favourite philosopher Marcus Aurelius:

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself in your way of thinking”

And what’s your view on that?

Let me know in comments.

Don’t give up so fast. Find your magic cone.

Do you know these happy people, always smiling and satisfied with their lives? When you pass them by you think they must have won a lottery or received a pay rise.

The truth is, a happy and contented person who has an enjoyable and beautiful life had to first sail through thunderstorms, get lost in the Amazon jungle and be bitten by poisonous spiders. It didn’t all come easy. In order to become a happy unicorn living a life full of magic you need the courage and motivation to go out there to a sometimes dark forest and search for your pine cone.

A pine cone? What for? You might ask. A pine cone can be a metaphor for whatever you would like to have or achieve in your life. A happy relationship, a loving family, your dream job, being financially free or being one of the best actors in the la la land.

Usually we don’t appreciate the number of attempts we need to take to see the change in our lives. The majority of people try once or twice and when they see that it didn’t work out – they give up and close themselves in the caves of their hearts, where their dreams fade to grey like in a song by Visage.

Angela once told me over a cup of coffee: “You know, I got burned in love so many times that now I don’t give a sh** anymore. I won’t try to find my dream partner, I stop it. Maybe he will find me“.

Right… How many times did you tell yourself the very un-magical word “maybe”? If all you can commit to is “maybe”, then you are not ready to depart for a search and discovery of your pine cone… Putting your happiness in hands of other people is like playing Mario game. Do you remember it? You move on with a click of a joystick, defeat enemies, achieve goals and advance to a further round. But not in real life. Clicking is not living. If you don’t try in real life you are living your dreams only in your head. The more you try, the bigger the possibility of success in finding your partner, dream job or your magic cone in a forest.

Let me tell you a fable about a unicorn who decided to enter a black forest in search of a magic pine cone.

It was a cold and rainy evening. Some snow was still lying on the streets and the rain drops were tentatively falling down from the sky. After the unicorn came back from work it was already 6:30 p.m. and it was dark outside. She had an idea to make hand-made Christmas decorations.  So she decided to climb up a mountain, which was near the place she lived, and go to the forest in search of magic pine cones for her Christmas decor. There she was at the top of the mountain standing by an entrance to the forest and a vast residential area with a nice view over Zurich city.

The unicorn looked around and saw that it was pitch black. How would she spot any cones there? It was like searching in the dark… She had her iPhone with her to shed some light onto a path, but it was a mere dot in the darkness of the night.  At that moment, she could’ve easily given up, coming up with thousands of excuses. “It is too dark to spot the cones“, “Some animals will eat me or harm me“, “I am afraid“, “It is dangerous for unicorns to go out alone at night, especially in a forest“, “I will not find any pine trees on my path“…

She told herself: “Unicorn, if you don’t go now, you will have to go another evening. The conditions will be the same. Moist, dark and snowy. Go for it now. Don’t wait for a better time, because the time is now. Take the chance. See that you’ve made it that far to enter the black forest“.

So she did. She was walking through the dark forest looking around to distinguish the contours of any pine tree, under which she could find some cones. But there were none. She needed to step away from the path and go nearer to the bushes. Full of fear and tired of walking and still searching she said a mantra in her thoughts: “Dear God and the universe, please help me to find my magic pine cones“.

Then, she said to herself “I will find them! I just need to search deeper and try unknown paths to widen my search“. She strolled through unknown parts of the dark forest and after a long and persistent search she stumbled across two very high and big pine trees. She looked down and directed some light onto the mossy ground. “There they are!!! I found my pine cones!”. Filled with joy and happiness she gathered the cones to her orange bag and set on a journey back home. The realisation that she found the magic cones in a dark forest made her feel that everything’s possible*.

The three magic ingredients were:

  • trust
  • persistence
  • patience

This is what made her find her unique cone. And for that night she was a unicone. A being aware of her super powers and potential to fulfil all her dreams.

The unicorn trusted she would find what she was looking for. With persistence and patience for going towards her goal of finding cones she actually made it.

Before you give up on your dream of finding the right partner or starting your business remind yourself the story of a magic unicorn and magic pine cones. There’s a little magic unicorn inside of you that will help you to go through the dark forest to find your magic cone.

Trust. Persistence. Patience.

With best wishes of finding your magic cone,

Plantation of Creativity Team

*the story is based on true events 

The crisis of the third date. Why we fail at relationships?

Why it is so difficult for us to be with someone? Why so often we fail at relationships? The contemporary times are not the times of our grandparents, when all was kept simple.

Men were competing for women and the social roles were clear-cut. Nowadays the relationships can be compared to a visit at a supermarket. You pick & choose what you like. If something breaks, you buy new. We have no time for costly and timely repair, because all we care for is instant gratification.

Do you know the crisis of the third date?

Your eyes meet. Your smiles fly through the space between you. You suddenly make a step towards each other and meet yourselves half way. First date is amazing. Endless talks, physical attraction. So is the second time when you meet. It’s usually on the third date when things start to get edgy. Why?

Imagine a meeting of two beings. One from Orion and the other from the Pleiades. Two different beings coming from literally different worlds, different backgrounds. She doesn’t know if he likes Lindt chocolate with strawberries or the dark 80% cocoa. He does not know what type she is. A hide and seek game. Up to a certain point.

She is a dark chocolate. He doesn’t know about that. What differentiates the dark chocolate type from the strawberry filling is that you can make a delicious mousse au chocolate. But exlusively from the dark chocolate.  It’s, unfortunately, impossible to do it when you have a strawberry one.

You go and buy the strawberry chocolate. You eat it instantly. You know it tastes best when you consume it straight after unwrapping the packaging. It’s the same with men and women. Some are fit for a one night stand whereas the others… Hm.. They tend to include a nice surprise inside. When you go for the dark chocolate, you know that the modern cuisine knows many recipes for delicious desserts that can be made from it. All that you need is some time and effort, before your palate explodes with the unique taste of the mouth-watering mousse…

People have different expectations and different ideas about love and relationships. Sometimes Jack meets Jill and they go in different directions, because they are not compatible with each other. Not a burger and fries case. And sometimes, they are able to leave for Venus, in a get away car. Like a coffee and croissant. Or a platter of meat and cheese. Complementing each other.

Why relationships don’t work?

1. PEOPLE MAKE THE WRONG CHOICES

We know very well what we don’t want, but we are not sure about what we really want… Sounds familiar? The freedom of choice nowadays is so big that you have no idea what you should take. That’s why you cannot take a decision and stay like this for the most precious years of your life. Because you fail to decide if you go for a strawberry filling or a hazelnut one.

2. EXPECTATIONS ARE SOARING LIKE THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING

On Instagram you see dolled-up beauties with D-size breasts and legs like from the catwalk. You see men with 6 packs with no food belly. Then you expect you will see that in the unplugged reality.  Wakie Wakie! The reality is neither a video game nor a porn movie.

3. YING-YANG IMBALANCE

In 2018 men are no longer hunters. At least some of them. My friend has lately attended a date. Sipping her coffee she heard him saying: “I like when women hunt me. It makes me feel good. I feel well taken care of and more attractive“. Hm. She never met him again. The truth is, the women like to be taken. Full stop.

When you are blooming with your femininity and delicacy, men come to you like bees attracted to the nectar of the flower. When you are a masculine woman no man would ever be interested in you, because he would instantly feel that you’re not a flower but more of a bee…

4. ONE MODEL OF RELATIONSHIPS NO LONGER EXISTS

“Why are doing this to me?!” “I don’t love you anymore”. “Get your shit together” – how many times have you been there?

We have as many definitions of what a “good relationship” is, as many people around you. Each one of us has a different view on how a successful relationship should look like. Now, an emerging couple faces the following questions, which in the old times, were considered obvious:

  • do you want to have children?
  • who will take care of home?
  • what country we will live in?
  • etc.

A good relationship is about how you treat the other person. If you don’t know how to show feelings and affection, if you don’t appreciate what you have or you organise your priorites in such a way that your partner is on the 55th position in your schedule then you didn’t get it right.

Cheap thrills or a chocolate mousse?

The choice is yours 😉

With the wishes of finding your dark chocolate,

Plantation of Creativity