Beauty and the Beast. What makes you a man or a woman?

Is Nurture more important than Nature?

Is sex a social construct?

You come to this world either as a man or as a woman. A biological phenomenon that has been active since the creation of mankind. What if, let’s say, you’d like to pick another role you wish to play? Is it possible to mould a person’s gender through childhood upbringing?

If you’re a Beast by Nature, can you become a Beauty by Nurture? Let’s take a look at one of the most controversial experiments related to the environmental change of the human gender.

DAVID REIMER CASE. Bruce raised as Brenda.

In the mid 1960s psychologist John Money encouraged the gender reassignment of Bruce Reimer, who was born a biological male but suffered irreversible damage to his penis as an infant. The psychologist advised the family of the boy to raise him as a girl. His theory was that gender is learned and gender roles are the product of socialization.

Imagine that despite our biological sex we are raised in the same way. It can be male, female or even a robot-style way in closed centers under the earth. What would be the result of such an upbringing? Are we the same from the moment of birth and can our gender be moulded in a free way?

Would we be all the same without socialization? A carte blanche? A blank slate?

The case of Bruce Reimer proves the contrary. Bruce was raised as Brenda. Since early childhood he was given female hormones and had female body organs constructed. He didn’t know he had been born a boy as he was uninformed about his male biology. When he was 15  Brenda (Bruce) rejected his female identity and began living as a male. I bet he must have felt like a bird set free. He then suffered severe distress and psychological disorders as he didn’t know who he was. He finished his life with a suicide. An ambitious experiment gone wrong.

You can read more about this interesting case here:

https://embryo.asu.edu/pages/david-reimer-and-john-money-gender-reassignment-controversy-johnjoan-case

ACCEPTING YOUR BIOLOGICAL SEX IS RESPONSIBILTY

Sex is not something that can be freely chosen. You can lament and ask God why you were created woman instead of man, but this does not change anything. Your biological sex has been given to you to uncover its full potential.  In simple terms, what it means to be a man and what it means to be a woman? Do we need each other? And finally,  why do we need to be so different?

Now let’s travel back in time to your childhood. When you were a child you were easily drawn to certain plays and toys. Though I have seen some boys playing with dolls, they still (with no encouragement from the parents) prefer to play with ‘boys’ stuff’ like cars, trains and other mighty machines. You cannot cheat nature. Being a man and a woman means having totally different energies. Such energies that were created to complement each other.

Now let’s take a brief look at these differences.

What is means to be a man?

  • to be physically strong to protect your beloved one and your family from outer dangers and attacks
  • to be responsible for the family, to be the bread-winner and the leader of the ‘family tribe’.
  • to be able to take decisions and lead

What it means to be a woman?

  • to be beautiful on the outside as well as on the inside
  • to bring up children
  • to create home (internal warmth, coziness, cooking, cleaning)
  • to give beauty and femininity to the world
  • to support her man as the leader

I bet now some of you might argue “why woman cannot be a leader” and will say that what I write is super anti-femminism. Against the equality of women and men.

Indeed. I don’t believe men and women should be equal. In fact, we never were. We are different and this difference for me means being equal but on different planes. Compare the Sun and the Moon. They are both planets. Are they equal? They vary in shape and size, rotation, surface and frequency. They are so different, yet they are still planets. Their root is the same.

OUR IDENTITY IS THE KEY TO UNDERSTANDING WHO WE ARE

Bruce Reimer was lost as he was uncertain about his identity. Yes. Now we get down to the question of human identity and its importance in understanding of who we are. A broken-winged being cannot fly. So often we break our wings by failing to accept our nature and the way we are…

To fly high a proper understanding of femininity and masculinity is needed. When you embrace that you are able to see why it is all constructed like that. Male and female together they make a cosmic duet, unleashing the most powerful creative energy of the universe, which is the power to create life. You are able to create life by an act of sex, a union and not by endless experimenting in the lab. How amazing is that?

Ying & Yang. Heaven & Earth. Red & Blue. Warrior & Princess. Sun & Moon.

Thanks to our identity we can go back to the roots. The Roots of Everything. Because all is written in our biology and morphogenetic field. Our cosmic history and our cosmic powers as a human race.

Remember that you need two to dance.

Let’s dance then and rock not the world, but the whole universe!

Do you judge people by their looks? Three reasons you should.

“Don’t judge a book by its cover”. This saying is quite well ingrained in our brain. However, we do exactly the opposite, as we are steered by our biology. We judge men who pass us by on the street, we judge if the pineapple is ripe enough by looking at its colour and skin. Every day we analyse thousands of things, which lighten up our brain just like the lightening on the stormy sky. But with one small exception – we hear no thunder. 

When you see a woman the first thing you do is you analyse (yes, big thanks to our subconscious brain) her looks and physical potential.

That’s how our ancestors (the cave men) where judging if a woman was able to give them healthy offspring. We, women, also judge men. Though physical looks is a little less important for us. What matters for women is whether the man they choose is able to protect them and their children. To take care of them. To be the real man who is not afraid of taking decisions.

We can cheat ourselves, but we cannot cheat biology.

1. WHEN YOU JUDGE LOOKS – YOU JUDGE CHARACTER

Physical appearance is important. It’s something more than just a neat face and a nice ass. Good looks is character, because nice asses and faces do not fall from the sky, nor they are given by a magic long-haired fairy.

The truth is that to look good you need to put some effort into it. A beautiful body, sexy ass and slim belly are not genetically passed on. At least, not in 80% of the cases. You simply need to work for it and this is the place where your character comes in and opens the doors. Will you have enough stamina and motivation to go through?

Marc was recently training a girl who was working in banking at Paradeplatz. He noticed that after the training she ate a bowl of a healthy salad, immediately followed by three chocolate bars. He saw it and simply uttered: “Once you pop, you can’t stop. Life is a no dolce vita baby. Either you go for the schoggi bars and cheat yourself that “you wanna be beautiful” or you get down to a plank and work these bars off“.

Character is the key to your looks.

2. IN HEALTHY BODY HEALTHY SPIRIT

Let’s discuss another example. This time of Maria, a good-looking woman in her forties working for a cryptocurrency company. “How would I feel arriving at work knowing I didn’t shower, didn’t eat my healthy breakfast and put the clothes I really dislike? Awful. I do it for myself to stay healthy and also to the people I love like my husband and daughter. Well, everybody enjoys being in the company of a good-looking and well cared-for women. Here in Switzerland, we call it “gut gepflegt”. We once were looking for office assistant and the manager employed one woman. On her first day she came to the office and she looked like taken straight from bed. Hair flying in all directions, no make up, no neat clothing. When I see such people I know they don’t take good care of themselves. Maybe lack of self-love is the issue…

A healthy and good-looking body is a sign of your good mental health. If you’re a couch potato everybody will be able to see it without having asked you. Your body and your attitude to it will show it.

3. SELF-LOVE AS A TOOL ENABLING LOVING OTHER PEOPLE

Have you ever wondered why you have your body? It serves you so well, it keeps you moving, it digests all the fast things which you sometimes feed it. Yet you fail to look after it. Your avatar is the cosmic suit for your soul. The way you look and the way you treat it shows how much you love yourself.

Yes, loving yourself. Do you remember the biblical commandment “Love your neighbour like yourself“? Hm. Loving yourself was put on the 1st position. Only then, you can love other people.

Taking care of your body and looks is an act of self-love. Stop for a moment and think: how much time per day you think about other people and how to please them? Then, compare how much time you devote to taking care of yourself. What was the last time you went to the SPA or to the gym?

The hard truth is that you don’t look like the best version of yourself, because you don’t love and accept yourself. If you did, you would know that you are a unicorn, not a sheep, and you deserve to be treated like one.

Heads up unicorns! Look in the mirror and say to yourself: “Yes, I am a unicorn. And I love myself”.

First step done. Congratulations! Now it’s time to hit the gym and burn the chocolate bars of the cage circling your looks.

Plantation of Creativity Team

The crisis of the third date. Why we fail at relationships?

Why it is so difficult for us to be with someone? Why so often we fail at relationships? The contemporary times are not the times of our grandparents, when all was kept simple.

Men were competing for women and the social roles were clear-cut. Nowadays the relationships can be compared to a visit at a supermarket. You pick & choose what you like. If something breaks, you buy new. We have no time for costly and timely repair, because all we care for is instant gratification.

Do you know the crisis of the third date?

Your eyes meet. Your smiles fly through the space between you. You suddenly make a step towards each other and meet yourselves half way. First date is amazing. Endless talks, physical attraction. So is the second time when you meet. It’s usually on the third date when things start to get edgy. Why?

Imagine a meeting of two beings. One from Orion and the other from the Pleiades. Two different beings coming from literally different worlds, different backgrounds. She doesn’t know if he likes Lindt chocolate with strawberries or the dark 80% cocoa. He does not know what type she is. A hide and seek game. Up to a certain point.

She is a dark chocolate. He doesn’t know about that. What differentiates the dark chocolate type from the strawberry filling is that you can make a delicious mousse au chocolate. But exlusively from the dark chocolate.  It’s, unfortunately, impossible to do it when you have a strawberry one.

You go and buy the strawberry chocolate. You eat it instantly. You know it tastes best when you consume it straight after unwrapping the packaging. It’s the same with men and women. Some are fit for a one night stand whereas the others… Hm.. They tend to include a nice surprise inside. When you go for the dark chocolate, you know that the modern cuisine knows many recipes for delicious desserts that can be made from it. All that you need is some time and effort, before your palate explodes with the unique taste of the mouth-watering mousse…

People have different expectations and different ideas about love and relationships. Sometimes Jack meets Jill and they go in different directions, because they are not compatible with each other. Not a burger and fries case. And sometimes, they are able to leave for Venus, in a get away car. Like a coffee and croissant. Or a platter of meat and cheese. Complementing each other.

Why relationships don’t work?

1. PEOPLE MAKE THE WRONG CHOICES

We know very well what we don’t want, but we are not sure about what we really want… Sounds familiar? The freedom of choice nowadays is so big that you have no idea what you should take. That’s why you cannot take a decision and stay like this for the most precious years of your life. Because you fail to decide if you go for a strawberry filling or a hazelnut one.

2. EXPECTATIONS ARE SOARING LIKE THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING

On Instagram you see dolled-up beauties with D-size breasts and legs like from the catwalk. You see men with 6 packs with no food belly. Then you expect you will see that in the unplugged reality.  Wakie Wakie! The reality is neither a video game nor a porn movie.

3. YING-YANG IMBALANCE

In 2018 men are no longer hunters. At least some of them. My friend has lately attended a date. Sipping her coffee she heard him saying: “I like when women hunt me. It makes me feel good. I feel well taken care of and more attractive“. Hm. She never met him again. The truth is, the women like to be taken. Full stop.

When you are blooming with your femininity and delicacy, men come to you like bees attracted to the nectar of the flower. When you are a masculine woman no man would ever be interested in you, because he would instantly feel that you’re not a flower but more of a bee…

4. ONE MODEL OF RELATIONSHIPS NO LONGER EXISTS

“Why are doing this to me?!” “I don’t love you anymore”. “Get your shit together” – how many times have you been there?

We have as many definitions of what a “good relationship” is, as many people around you. Each one of us has a different view on how a successful relationship should look like. Now, an emerging couple faces the following questions, which in the old times, were considered obvious:

  • do you want to have children?
  • who will take care of home?
  • what country we will live in?
  • etc.

A good relationship is about how you treat the other person. If you don’t know how to show feelings and affection, if you don’t appreciate what you have or you organise your priorites in such a way that your partner is on the 55th position in your schedule then you didn’t get it right.

Cheap thrills or a chocolate mousse?

The choice is yours 😉

With the wishes of finding your dark chocolate,

Plantation of Creativity

How to exercise at home? The power of habit.

“I tried to exercise at home, but after the first push-up I couldn’t move up from the floor…” How many of you experience the feeling of helplessness when you finally decide to exercise?

Perhaps you will say: “I have kids, a full time job and a husband”. Yes. The famous excuse of us all. Even some of us who are healthy singles in their thirties are “too busy” to find time to exercise at home or to go to the gym…

Instead, you start your morning with a ‘schoggi gipfel’ (Swiss name for a chocolate croissant) and a bucket of coffee. Personally, I have nothing against gipfels, but a gipfel a day will certainly not keep the doctor away.

You know it so well. Do sport, eat healthy, meditate, think positive…. Yeah. But when? When is always the question, which is left with no good answer.

HOW TO START WHEN YOU’RE BUSY AS A BEE?

1. Write how your typical day looks like on paper.

Usually, the biggest part of our days takes our job. Write down your daily activities and you’ll see that you’ll find a 45 minutes window of time, even when you thought that it was impossible. How about making time at lunch break for the gym?

Example: 6:45 a.m. – wake up time, 8:30-18:00 work, 19:00 shopping/cooking/meeting friends/family time/watching TV/sitting on facebook etc.

Cut on some unproductive activities like sitting on facebook and hit the gym instead. Wake up one hour earlier and do some yoga at home. You don’t even need a yoga mat. Bare floor is really enough.

2. Write your goal.

“I wanna be more fit”  – it is too general. Why don’t you make it more concrete? “I want to lose 5 kg”, “I want to fit in size 38” , “I wanna be able to chase my children on the playground with no panting”  – they all sound better. Why? Because they are measurable. You can measure how many kg you lose and how many cm disappear from you belly. You measure the progress of your exercise. And this motivates you even more.

3. Install a new habit.

You wanna burn the fat that you have cultured like your own crop, right? Now the time has come to saw. Then you will reap. But before you explode with happiness with your new body, some dirty work is waiting to be done. Don’t deceive yourself that it will be easy. No. It will be very difficult. It all comes down to installing a new habit and simply going for it. Regularly.

GYM OR HOME?

Whether you decide to exercise in a gym or at home, it doesn’t matter as soon as you do the work. Wind up your sleeves and prepare for a hard work in the field. Imagine you’re a farmer and the field is your body.  Have you ever imagined what immense work does the farmer do from the moment he plants his crops until he harvests it?

INSTALLING A NEW HABIT

Are you acquainted with the theory of Pavlov’s dog? In short, this is a theory of classical conditioning. A certain stimulus can produce a response. We won’t get too much into details. What is important is that you can create your own theory of conditioning and adapt it for your fitness goals.

Imagine you want to instal a habit of exercising 30 minutes at home every day or going to the gym 3 times a week. How to motivate yourself? Sometimes images of slim and sporty body are not enough to keep you going. Then, you can introduce a stimulus. Just like Ivan Pavlov made it with the dog.

Think about something which could be a reward for sticking to your exercise plan and executing it. This can be eating your favourite dish or even a croissant. The thing is to treat it as something special to keep up your motivation. So no 3 croissants per day or no pizza after workout. But a home-made pizza once a week? Why not?

Last but not least, don’t push it too hard and remember to love yourself the way you are. Exercising is taking care of your body. That’s how you show your love to it.

Make progress. Not excuses. Make the time for your precious body, which is you. Get fit for life, not just for summer. Your “Pavlov’s dog” is definitely going to help you. No eat up without a sit up 🙂

Wishing you success in installing your new habits!

Plantation of Creativity Team